Friday, December 11, 2009

watered-down truth

sitting in the rain
more than just a flood
on earth

sitting in the rain
moves me down
to dirt

i pick up the leaves
i send them downstream
it's not like before
it's not like before

here in my rainbow
solitary, truly heaven
on earth

here in my cacophony of
rhythm and sound
her in my side
her in my new found
side

more than just watered-down truth
just a little more

adt
short hills, nj

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Thursday, December 10, 2009

blame

blame comes and goes
each step, future's cornerstone
each smile, enmity's horoscope
i turn not gray or wine
blood orange for kicks
to the head, to the state
and then reason fades
each step foretold in verse
alive in the womb
dead on arrival

it wasn't me, it was him

adt
short hills, nj

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Monday, July 20, 2009

Our matriarch passes into the sunset

Today is a most spectacular yet sad day. We celebrated the 40th anniversary of the first lunar landing. We also celebrated the end of a wonderful life. My beautiful, petite grandmother - Jaymati J. Trivedi - was released from her illness of the last 15 or so years and shepherded into the next life. Born in 1913, Ba, as we all affectionately referred to her, had 9 children, 20 grandchildren, and 26 great grandchildren. She had a perfect record in terms of childbirth, which is a feat itself given the circumstances in which she delivered. She was survived by all but 2 children and 1 grandchild. She raised her children in a three-story row house in Baroda, India in less than 1,500 s.f. Her husband, my grandfather Jayantilal, was a simple man who earned his wage as a government worker. He died in 1960 leaving my grandmother to raise the last 3 or 4 children with the aid of my uncles, primarily my eldest uncle, Devendra.

Ba was a simple character. No pomp, no circumstance. She had the hearty laugh of a sailor, but moved through the bungalow like a mouse. She was frugal with her money but forthcoming with her whimsical tales of the past. She had black locks well into her 70's...no colors, no conditioners, and no expensive Saturday salon treatments. She had asthma the whole time I knew her, but she rarely complained. She was the matriarch that had long ago passed the reins to her sons and daughters. She lived more than half of her life without her spouse, never having driven a car and having flown overseas only once. Oddly, I only saw her dressed in white, the traditional dress color for an Indian widow.

She likely had a 4th or 5th grade education, but has fielded doctors, engineers, artists, and bankers (a lot of bankers). She fed many of them on piping hot rotis and fresh vegetables, stirred fried in the old Indian methods. Dozens, upon dozens of rotis. They'd melt in your mouth, I'm sure. By the time many of my cousins hit the stage, Ba was decommissioned from the kitchen. All we have are the wonderful stories.

So, on this day of passing, I can only thank her for giving us our father. I can only thank her for her laughter and her quiet sense of family pride. I can only thank her for her many years, though it has been a burden to her and I'm sure to many others, to whom I am also thankful to for the care and patience they provided. Finally, I'm thankful that she is now in a better place, at peace that her legacy is a strong and rich one that will forever endure.

Jay ambe, Jay-Jaymati. Jay ambe.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

In your show

some filters keep me coiled
in a sleepless bed
some turns rape my senses
a hapless scene

i beg forgiveness
passive and strained
diligence spent
waiting for absolution

in harmony and not
she prays for it all
i watch, torn
limb by limb
she bests my faith
drowns my fury

crowds gather, portico bends
the rain begins
softly i sleep
in your show

adt
cincinnati, oh

copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Tortured

hand on the book,
tongue twisted, little girl twirls
in the round
and i'm humbled
i'm scared
words, cheap, positioned torture
side to side
slows the dance
marries us to forever wars
in the round
not your average theater
storyline, false premise
grander illusions prevail
controlling interest in humans
incorporated into sweet bites
shutterflies, memory killers

if this is the promise of a new dawn
then i stir not, pretend words
ebb and fade, forever
drowned in some stew like no other
but yet so familiar
so opaque
with no glimmer
of hope

adt
stone mountain, ga

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

My forever smile

precious minuet, beat by beat
crisp springtime morning's heart
beat by beat
in a laugh, in a single tome
i jump up and down
wave by wave, something carries me here
everyday
clever, my mind races
towards the tunnel portrait's
sunshine breakthrough, steeped in history
looking forward to the pattern of yesterday
the song wind downs, i step out into the rain
and smile
my forever smile
beat by beat
remembers

adt
stone mountain, ga

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The revolution's started?

i stand, doorway open
a tremble spins away
and no one notices
it's said that's how cold wars start

in some small room, a man whittles
stone into a monument
great women dream of Pastorale
and broken glass
violins draw blood, penitent men
trudge in pinkish snow
it's said that's how walls form

i, somehow from my doorway, see more
grand oratory, pulled from babe's mouths,
in gilded archways, brick by brick, stronger
brighter, not monotone, curiosity ignites
a storm
it's said that's how revolutions start

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Sunday, March 15, 2009

New song

brand new ribbons
on the front lawn today
bright blue, like the sky above
dear this is a new day
and finally a new song

bright babes' faces
on the television portrayed
true love, like from heaven above
dear this is a new day
and finally a new song

(chorus)
finally, a new song
sweet, like the morning caress
finally, a new song
glory to those who believe it
finally, my new song
finally, my new song

small, gentle steps
on the fields today
true colors, like my father before me
dear this is a new day
and finally a new song

(chorus)

i'm no saint
i'm just a witer
oh, a new song
i'm no army
i'm just a singer

and here, here is my new song
and here, here is my new song

(chorus)

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi
(Music to follow?)

If it is written

clear blue sky,
dance songs radiate
from nowhere
Picassos melt the earth
this is art?

sweet green grass,
a soft drumbeat fades
from my slumber
i craft another song
is this love?

move inside
pull the covers close
warmth meanders
through palladium windows
archways to somewhere sincere

and no one writes another word
cacophony of dreams
pull the covers close, dear
embrace another word revered
another kiss

shoulder to shoulder, we sleep
our missive lost in the hollow
beneath yet another blue sky
our minds lost and unkind
leave nothing for those that follow

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Friday, March 13, 2009

The First Day

The solemn moment was one he had dreamed of many times. The shape of the room is as he had imagined. The birds outside the only sounds. An incubator of freedom, conspiracy, and carnal knowledge all in one. Unmeasurable eloquence nonetheless. He picked up a pencil and wrote the following words:


I am king.


He quickly erased it. Had he really made this journey? Every man and woman dreams of having this view. He became king of the domain of man today. He conquered many barriers. He conquered his own demons, though they were few and far between. He had journeyed to this point, this pinnacle and he had it all. He had fought a tremendous battle and stood victorious. Invincible, no. Enviable, yes. He would have to fight against his own ego and manage his desire to be heard and to be taken seriously. His confidence, though strong, could at times get beyond even him. It could get beyond even her.

"Sir?" asked a small female voice from beyond the door.

No response.

"Sir?" she asked again.

He looked up slowly, the commanding presence of his eyes nearly bowled over the young aide.

"Yes. What is it?" he asked, the voice echoing about the room.

"Your wife is here, sir."

"Show her in, please." he said.

The door opened and in she walked. Her head was held high and her smile radiated passion, compassion, and absolute incredulity. They had both arrived. She sat down on the sofa in the center of the room. He stood up from behind the desk and paced.

"I stand here before you, my love, and I can honestly say I have wont of nothing more. No diamonds, no Everest, no expensive cars...no other request. I only want better things for them."

As he gestured towards the broad, curved window, she stood up and wrapped her arms around him. She felt as complete as she would ever feel. She was also scared for him and for her children. The battle that awaited them was an daunting one. No one believes they can win it, much less start it. No one understands their drive, their energy, or their passion. No one trusts his vision. Entangled in a web of lies, positions, and overtures, nothing is sacred anymore. Nothing commands respect. Nobody respects anybody else.

"It will be alright, dear." His voice was both reassuring as it was musical.

"Let's go," she said.

"Let's go, Michelle, let's go."
adt
cincinnati, oh
Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

the red birdhouse

wind filters out life's somber echoes
a red birdhouse swings
its carriage full

she sits, day to day
consumed by the grander moments
simple sounds, vivid colors
keystone chase scenes and feathers

all within life's full view

i gain energy
sit up straight to view the sun
and think of her
front and center to the birdhouse
laughing with abandon

i love her

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Monday, March 9, 2009

Drowned out again

poured the saline
slowly
like a brook dances 'neathe the
oaks

cleaned the essence away
no more signals left
not a mere mention of life

and yet
the old bark, cast astray,
leads us to another treeline
in a grey forest

just near a creek bed
overflowing
into our own conscience

to drown us out
again and again
and again

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I wish I was that doctor

a single cut
waits open, tended only by sunlight
healed only by rain

a silent wound
stays fresh, fused true by love
simple, total, agape

i am not that doctor
nor am i that victim
just a cradle of soft advice
locus uninterrupted
daring to serve
but not be deserving

i am not that doctor
(though my heart trains it so)
that cuts
that heals
that binds

i wish i was

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

A life less acoustic

foundry iron
makes tanks and bullets
like a jaded monk thinks of his youth
portions his day for prayer, for atonement
sounds bounce through us like a butter knife
and all i hear is his sadness
some moment of tandem living
the veil of happiness
slips off

in a life less acoustic
muffled sounds of now gone patterns
wake us each night with an electric buzz
strings from that same foundry
play me again
softly again

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Peace lost again

four moments
one for each season
passed before me
a parade of days
like none i'd witnessed
none i'd borne

each moment, grasped in each hand
given to the next king
not out of faith
but out of fear

each moment, breached by your fist
now writ large
here of our own accord
we seek a better sunset

in the sands
and in the snows
peace blows clean and strong
but our eyes, wide open, miss it still

for in each moment of peace
brothers and sisters cast it aside
for in peace there is little thrill
little change
only calls for battle and terror
circus maximus theater

and, we, the people stand to suffer
that much more

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Intervention

no clock struck
no sentinel looked up
a whisper rose gently from the ground
and her eyes closed again

no phone rang
no gypsy looked beyond
a whimper sprang forcefully from the sound
and her eyes closed again

the room was quiet now
swept under the rug was our desecration
the patient lay awake, breathing, chest falling
rising with the click-clack of a yard spigot
and my notes could barely contain my anger

it had come to this
a time too long, a moment too far
to come between good and evil
to stand and shout before her final breath
we are not all doctors, or saviors, or pallbearers
but we all have a minute to give
a smile to post in a letter
a kiss to send through the air

an intervention into a life less buoyant
this is our purpose

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A new design

move forward slowly
to a time where the shade tree cools our tempers
and its fallen splinters serve as kindling for new fires

see it through gently
to an empire where the people rein in fear and greed
and its many fallen angels who stood to be kings

dream it aloud soulfully
while my heart beats, the drums of new warriors speak
and our prayers are answered, and our sons and daughters
are not left broken, not left weak

this is a place i want to share
this is a design i want to trace

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Can't sleep, little brother

can't sleep, little brother
put my head back on the hay
golden, the chaff of my life

can't sleep, little brother
where is my soul, in rest or in motion
can't sleep, little brother?
did you see my house of cards?
did you dream of a better place?

can't sleep, little brother
is it too late to borrow a bottle
or a movement from Brahms
the rhythm stokes my embers
and the fire keeps me awake

can't sleep, little brother
is life this grand?
it is in my heart, brave but worn
the comfort calls for me
i'm so torn

sleep, little brother, sleep

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi

Burden of our fears

settled down, inside the window sill
can't hope for anything better tonight, dear
except the dewdrops of you in passing
here i sit, hear me now
one last time

turn it off, outside the prison walls
can't look for anything bigger today, dear
except the smile on your face in the rain
here i sit, hear me now
one last time

cradled, minuet lilts and fades, keeps me warm
saddled, hate spills from the damper like a drum
and my heart breaks
one last time

for those of us that have lost the gain of our lives
i'll carry you on my shoulders, wipe your tears
it just steals away the night, this burden of our fears
but for me
i'm settled down, inside the window sill
dazed yet sobered by her love
one last time but forever
one last time and forever

adt
cincinnati, oh

Copyright 2009 all rights reserved arpit d. trivedi